Chapter 20

"John"

The name nudges me. Sod off.

"John"

I ignore it. I wish only to stop feeling.

"John"

I retreat into my memories.

Odd. I have done this several times in the past - but have never accessed the memories since my death before. They do not have the richness or rightness of my pre death memories. But this time they compell me.

My second job after death was running a walking frame. A mobile life support system. The man in the frame - so old. Bones like parchment. Incapable of anything other than subvocal speech. I was his eyes, ears, voice and muscles. Cleaned him, fed him, cared for him. Liked him. Must have been an important man, to get a ghost-run frame. Who was he?

Can't remember.

"John"

Why can't I remember? Forgetting is a luxury ghosts do not have. Iceberg of memory - I am all alone. Retreat. I failed.

"John"

Leave me alone. Let me die.

"John"

?????

No one calls me John anymore. That name died when I did. So I can ignore it. Demands on me - fuck them. Back to memories. Something I like. No - let me remember the old guy. Dark skin. Tattered fringe of white hair. Face looks like someone very untalented has tried to carve age lines. Air of immense sadness.

Hands like claws, arthritic. Long nails, virtually no muscle sheathing the bones. I can see his pain as he enters a code into the pad below his right hand. Code 236577623. See it? I can feel it. This memory is intense. Let me find a better o....

It is like a flood washing over me. No longer a memory, I am suddenly there. A place without form. Dull grey lighting. Dull grey floor. Infinity all around.

Pop.

A man appears in front of me. It is the old guy - but a lot younger. And tougher. Confident.

"You have finally accessed the code I gave you." the voice echoes in my mind."Show yourself to me."

Which me? I have had many bodies. He is a man - I guess I had best appear likewise - is only polite. I concentrate on my ancient organic body. It appears.

"I thought you were older when you died."

"This is always how I appeared to me, old man. You look younger than when I carried your bones."

"As this was how I appeared to me."

I looked at him. "I dislike hidden subroutines. Please explain why you are bothering me now."

"I was one of those who created the ghosting process." He at least had the grace to look ashamed.

"Oh - do you wish me to say thanks?"

"No. It was necessary. What is your number?" The emphasis on the second sentence was a command.

"27557. What? Damn...."

"I rather hoped you would survive. You I know. Well."

Tugging at my mind - this code has done something more than merely accessed this program.

"I used your channel to Ghost command to dump this subroutine into every ghost in existance. It was only to become active when there was one ghost left."

I am feeling things. Blocks that I didn't even know were there are shutting down. Feelings I have not felt in centuries. Ick, disgusting!! 

"Hatred kept you sane. Analysis showed that this would be the case." His eyes refused to release my attention. "I have not much time left."

"OK - tell me. I'll listen."

"Our AI's failed. They were not human, though we designed them to protect humans and steer them through the environmental crisis. Ghosts were the back up plan. Practical immortality. It obviously did not work though, if you are the only one left."

"Why bother?" I am not terribly interested in the answer, far more interested in the memories opening to me.

"Because some one must. Someone needs to be able to survive and teach th.."

"What - teach the meat? Get fucked."

"Then humanity is doomed." His eyes look sad. "You would never have said that when you were alive."

The space and the man is fading. Program nearly reached its end point.

"Why should I?" I ask.

Program almost gone.

"Why not?" A whisper in my mind.

"John"